I Have A Special Needs Child

I have a special needs child. I am not ashamed to admit that Wendy is different.

In the book I am reading, My Baby Rides The Short Bus (which is an amazing book, for the most part, written by parents of special children who tell their personal stories), there is a mother who tells about her autistic son. She is in complete denial. She says she contradicts the therapists and doesn't like to have him evaluated. But honestly, no parent wants to hear their child is "not normal" or not developing the way they should be. Trust me, my heart broke when i recieved a copy of Wendy's evaluation. But if you have a special child, then you need to recognize it, learn to understand and accept, move on and get your child the help they need. Having a special child is nothing to be ashamed of. I am damn proud of my beautiful baby girl and every time she accomplishes something new my heart bursts with pride. Wendy was 5 months old before she ever smiled, but when I saw that smile for the first time, I melted.

Today was not the easiest day. Wendy is teething (I can actually feel a tooth on the bottom). Her bag came off today. Her button was leaking and the dressing around it had this disgusting brown, bloody looking stuff on it. And she fought sleep like crazy. For a moment, while I was cutting her colostomy bags, I thought, what would it be like to have a normal child. As soon as I finished with her bags and went and sat next to her, I immediately felt guilty. One look in her beautiful big blue eyes and I knew that she is the perfect baby for me! I couldn't imagine life without colostomy bags, feeding tubes, syringes, and medication. It may not be easy. And it may not be what I imagined when I found out I was pregnant. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

Little Lady Is Back In Georgia

After a long week of being sick, packing, and having many appointments, Wendy and I are back in Georgia. We are not in our house yet (we are staying with my momand dad for the time being because Zed still has a few days of work and won't be home until next week). I am so glad to be back, but ready to be in my own home already. And I miss Zed. Call me crazy, but even as aggravating as he is, I miss him, and I'm sure Wendy does too.

Fortunately, the rude here wasn't that bad today. We didn't hit any major traffic and Wendy behaved for the most part. She only cried when we hit Athens and then soon after she started fussing she spit up and went back to sleep. About two hours into our ride (it was me, momma, and Wendy) we stopped and at Cracker Brarrel. No joke, at least five people stopped me to tell me how beautiful my child was. And at the time she wasn't hooked up to her feeding pump so I'm pretty sure it wasn't out of pity.

I also wanted to mention that this blog has had almost 14,500 views! Amazing. Wendy has the most amazing family, friends, and supporters in the world! I truly appreciate each and every one of you!

What Parenting A Special Needs Child Is Really Like

Parenting a disabled child like wearing 6 inch stilettos for the first time. As a first time parent you think you are going to get to learn to walk in kitten heels first. But when you find out your child has a disability, those kitten heels go out the window and you are stuck in shoes with a very high narrow heel. On the outside you look great. One the inside, your feet are aching and you're stressed out because you are certain that when you move you are going to bust your butt.

Do you know that most pediatricians don't want to see a child with a chromosome abnormality? I didn't, until I tried to find a new doctor for Wendy today. Every place I called either didn't accept Tricare or didn't feel comfortable taking on a special needs child. Honestly, who her pediatrician is isn't all that important. For all of her medical problems Wendy will see specialists. So I just need a pediatrician to give Wendy her shots and send referrals. I ended up getting an appointment with Dr. Melissa Martin. I haven't heard much about her, so I don't know if I am going to love or hate her, but then again, other people's opinions don't matter so much because they could have had a very different experience with the same doctor. We go May 8 for Winnie's 6 month shots and at that appointment I will decide if I like the doctor and if I don't, I will go through Tricare and find another one.  Hopefully Dr. Martin will be a nice fit for us though.

I am reading a book called My Baby Rides The Short Bus. It is a book written by parents of special needs children. They talk about the ups and downs of having a child that is "different". They are honest about what you go through. And the book helps me realize that I am not alone and I am not the only mother that has felt alone.  It talks about issues like how we feel every time someone says "special kids get special parents" or "you're so strong for everything you have been through". I am nothing special and I am no stronger than any other mother. When it's your child, you do what you have to. And if it were reversed, and you were walking in my stilettos, you would suck it up and do the same things I do. You would deal with it.

So if you ever want to understand what I go through on a daily basis, you should read that book. You will laugh and cry and get the chance to walk in my shoes.

One Day Closer

I am now 3 days away from moving home, but I'm still not completely packed.

Wendy had her last occupational therapy session with Ms. Brenda today. It was bittersweet. I am excited about moving home, but not so happy about leaving all the wonderful people who have been such a huge part of Wendy's journey. I felt the same way when Wendy was discharged from her home health nurse.

Unfortunately, I am still sick. I did take some time and went to get my nails done. They're cute and white! I knew I probably wouldn't have another chance to get my mani and pedi so I went today. I'm so attached to the place I get my nails done that I'm really going to miss it. I've had my nails done in Elberton and it is nowhere near the same quality. Guess I will have to be on the lookout for a new nail salon.

Some good news is I'm pretty sure I've found Winnie a pediatrician! I will post more when I know for certain. Well, I suppose I should try to get some sleep while Wendy is sleeping.

Perfectly Imperfect

My life is a jumbled up mess if I ever did see one. I am moving in 4 days. My house is not packed. Wendy has therapy tomorrow. And I am so sick that I cannot sleep. Oh, and since I was so sick we missed Wendy's doctor appointment for her 6 month shots and I have yet to find a pediatrician in Georgia (but hopefully Dr. Aldridge will accept Wendy as a patient; I am calling her again tomorrow).

Today has been long and tough. My mommy left morning. I laid in the bed most of the day. The only thing I got up for was to take care of Wendy. Oh, and I got up to move to the couch and pee a few times. Finally at 5 I drug myself off the couch to cook supper. After eating I put Wendy to bed and Zed went to bed not long after. The one good thing about today? I got an iPad, which I am blogging on right now!

Sick Moms

I've been meaning to write to tell all about the March of Dimes event, but I have been so sick. I'm pretty sure it's my allergies or sinuses. My throat is sore and scratchy, my nose is stuffy, and I have been coughing. Whatever it is, I hope it's not contagious!

I raised $1,220 for the March of Dimes walk in Nashville! That was a huge accomplishment! Several of the girls from the team met yesterday morning in Clarksville so we could all park together. Since I had been by Centennial Park so much (it is right across the street from the Holiday Inn we lived at for 4 weeks) we led the convoy. After getting to the park we all registered and walked around to visit all the tents. Since I raised over $1,000 I was considered a Top Walker and had VIP status. I got a tote bag, a t-shirt, a hat, a pin, and a few more small things. We visited tents for Centennial Women's Hospital (and got shirts there) and Vanderbilt Children's Hospital (momma bought Winnie a pink sock monkey there). There was one tent that I signed a flower from Wendy in honor of all the preemie babies for a memorial garden and I signed the Wall of Wishes. We had lunch and took a team photo, then we left. Yes, we left.

Wendy was starting to break out on her forehead and I'm still not sure what it was from, but she was fussing and the wind was blowing (which is probably why I am sick) so I took her home. It was a good experience and I am looking forward to the walk in Lavonia. I started my own team, Walking for Wendy Lee McLanahan. My team goal is to raise $2,500. I'm pretty sure we can do it!

Well, I would love to keep blogging tonight, but I need to get some sleep. Wendy has her 6 month shots tomorrow and I still have things to pack. 5 days until I'm back in Georgia.

Date Night.

Zed and I went on our first date since Wendy came home from the hospital. My mom kept Wendy at our house while Zed and I went to eat and see a movie. We acted like teenagers. We drove with our windows down and our music blaring. We ate at Sonic. Then we watched The Lucky One (which was a pretty good movie). As fun as it was, I couldn't wait to get back home to Wendy.

On top of having a date today, I also reached my $600 goal for March of Dimes! I even surpassed it. I actually almost doubled it! I have raised $1,170! I am amazed at people's support and encouragement. I never thought I would raise that much. I can't wait to start again for the walk in October. By the way, it's in Lavonia so anyone in the Elberton area, feel free to join us!