Wednesday, July 3, 2013

My child is different and I’m not afraid to shout it from the highest mountain.

Today I was sent a message on Facebook saying things like “Wendy will lead as normal of a life as you let her” and that “no one would know Wendy was special needs if I didn’t point out her differences” and for many reasons these things bothered me. This person, who I will keep nameless for their sake because I know many of Wendy’s followers would love to tell this lady off, sent this message because she said I was making her comment about becoming a grandmother about Wendy and her disabilities, which was not my intention, I just said that my mom had tried to do similar things but didn’t work out because Wendy ended up being a special child and I keep her with me all the time (if this makes sense, I’m trying to be vague as to not totally give this person away).

Did you know that 1 in 5,000 babies are born with an imperforate anus? Probably not, because I didn’t before Wendy was born and it’s probably because nobody talks about it. No one would have ever known Wendy was born without an anus had I not chosen to share it. But I did share it, because if I’m secretive about it, then she will feel like she has a reason to be embarrassed about it and Wendy is perfect in my eyes and God’s. He made her that way, so she should be proud of who and what she is. Other than Wendy’s small size, physically, she looks healthy and most people wouldn’t know that she was born with various birth defects and will face a life of the unknown, but if people comment about her small size, I’ll quickly tell them a little about her and her differently-abled-ness. Hell, I may just bring up something about Wendy and her chromosome disorder just because you mention your healthy grandchild, just like any other may mention that their child did this or that early/late. I have learned to be Wendy’s advocate and I am her voice. I will talk about her disability as much as I can and because of that, thousands of people know about Wendy and pray for her and if you don’t care to hear about it, unfriend me.

As far as me letting her live a normal life…  Am I overprotective? YES! I spent most of my pregnancy not knowing if she was going to live past birth and then 71 excruciating days standing over her in the NICU, so excuse me I keep her close and protect her as much as I can. That doesn’t make me a bad mother, that makes me a caring mother. Would I have treated a “normal” baby like I treat Wendy? I don’t know. I’ll probably never know. All I do know is that I’m doing the best I can with Wendy and what we’ve been given. I also know that I love Wendy with every part of my being and I will do everything in my power to give her the best life I can and if you think that means I’m holding her back, then I thank God that you weren’t given a special child and I was. 

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