Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Dear TriCare...

Dear TriCare,
     My husband served 3 years active duty.  We left our home, family, and friends, to move to the army post we were assigned.  We have missed spending holidays and anniversaries together because of work and training exercises. We had a year of our life and marriage taken away because of the 12 month tour of duty my husband served in Afghanistan. Now, my husband has signed another contract with the military by joining the National Guard so we could keep insurance on our special needs daughter. You owe us!

A Pissed Off MOTHER.

When Zed's time in the army was coming to a close, we made a decision, as a family, for him to join the guard. We thought we were doing the best thing for our family, so Wendy could keep insurance. We agreed to give up one weekend a month and two weeks out of the year for Zed to go train so our daughter would have good insurance, even though it was going to cost us the whole $300 a month he's getting paid and even though we were going to have to pay for gas out of pocket for him to travel to Lawerenceville. On May 26, Zed was officially done with active duty. We were told we would get 180 days of transitional insurance, which meant we could keep TriCare Prime and finish out Wendy's two surgeries and not have to pay anything out of pocket. When we called to enroll, we were told we weren't eligible. We decided not to fight it as long as it would switch from TriCare Prime to TriCare Reserve on the 26th. Well, it didn't. We are now without insurance because someone didn't do their job and someone didn't put Zed in the system, so it's registering as him not even being in the guard. Zed even faxed in a copy of his orders almost 3 weeks ago, and his information is still not in DEERS. Do you know how much Wendy's colostomy supplies are for one month? $800. And that's only her colostomy supplies. She also has to have feeding pump bags, g tube extensions, extra buttons, tape, gauze, syringes, a suction pump, medicine, doctor appointments, etc. Zed doesn't make enough money in a month for us to pay for everything. Wendy also has another surgery coming up in a month. Her last hospital stay was half a million dollars, which insurance paid for, and I honestly felt like we deserved to have it all paid for. Zed signed his life over to the army so having our daughters medical bills paid is the least they can do. It really pisses me off because Zed worked hard to provide for me, him, and Wendy. We are not on welfare. We are not on food stamps.  We're not asking for a hand-out. My husband is actually working for a living. Wendy couldn't even get SSI or medicaid because Zed made $28,000. And the only reason we applied for SSI was because the hospital said we should because Wendy has a disability that will last a lifetime and she will need medical supplies and constant care, which means I can't work, even if I wanted/needed to. As of now, Zed is still making calls to TriCare, trying to get this huge mess, that wasn't our fault, straightened out.  Zed doesn't report to his new unit until June 26, so I'm hoping something can be done before then.  I've had two major realizations today though. One, a lot of people don't care about doing their jobs properly, even if affects people other than themselves. And two, the government will screw you any way they can.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Home For The Night.

I know I said I wouldn't be blogging again until at least Monday, but plans changed. I felt really bad about leaving Ares alone for 2 nights so I decided to come home and I brought Wendy with me. We'll be reuniting with daddy tomorrow whenever he wakes up. I don't usually feel too terrible when we are only gone for a night, but 2 nights and 3 days is too long for Ares to be alone. He's only 4 and half months old. And since Zed kept Wendy last night, I got her tonight :)

Some of Zed's friends were at the lake so I figured he may just want to hang out tonight. Or maybe he wants to sleep to catch up on the sleep he missed last night. I thought he may want to spend some time with his family as well. Whatever the case be, I didn't mind coming home alone and bringing our sweet girl.

Wendy has stayed at the lake before, but today was her first day on the lake. She rode on a boat, put her toes in the water, and wore an adorable floppy hat and her yellow polka dot bikini. She was held and spoiled by her grandpa Rod and Kelly, her aunts- Janet, Suzanne, and Jessie, and tons of other people who are spending Memorial day weekend at the lake. Wendy really surprised me by how well she handled being outside, riding on a boat, and even touching the water. Of course, we were only out there for about 20-30 minutes. I still lathered her up with baby sunscreen. After a bit, she got sleepy so we took her back to the cabin for a nap and Suzanne watched her while Zed and I went back out for a while. Leave it to me to get sunburned on my shoulders. I guess I get so preoccupied with Wendy and making sure she is taken care of that I forget about myself. That's okay though, as long as she's healthy and happy, I'm happy.

I suppose I should get some sleep while Wendy is asleep. The sun always drains me and we still have 2 more days at the lake!

Friday, May 25, 2012

Time To Relax?

Tonight is the first night I am spending without Wendy since December 18, the day we brought her home from the hospital. Zed took her to the lake so I could relax tonight, go get my nails done in the morning, and then join them around lunch tomorrow. I am kind of freaking out. Zed was right. I do need a night to rest because I have been going constantly, and he is more than capable of taking care of our baby. But at the same time I would rather have Wendy than rest. That's the love of a mother. I told my mom and Grammy that I was staying alone tonight and they both wondered if I was scared in this big house all alone. I said no. For one, I sleep with a Walther PK 380 by my head and two, I have a 4 month old shadow that's about 50lbs and very protective. Ares doesn't like anyone coming near me or Wendy so he's a good body guard. I just don't know how I will do without my baby here because we haven't been apart for more than a few hours since she came home. We'll be reunited in less than 18 hours but for some reason I feel like a bad mom for letting her go- even though she's with her own daddy. So far I have taken a nice bubble bath in the big claw foot tub and made me a cup of hot cocoa with our Keurig. Now I'm laying in our big king size bed with Ares and Pandora. And for those of you wondering about Wendy, I took her to thr doctor today and she has a cold. We just have to keep her nose suctioned and if she acts like she's not feeling well we can give her Advil or Tylenol. So far she's been acting normal other than the runny nose and cough. I probably won't be posting again until at least Monday- we will be at the lake until then.

Everyone have a safe Memorial weekend! Amd remember what this holiday is all about. It's not just about barbecues, beer, and spending time at the beach or lake. It's about honoring those who have honored us by serving our country. God bless our troops!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Big Bang!

Wendy reached a milestone today, which I am positive it was by complete accident. She rolled from her back to her stomach today.  I had just changed her colostomy bag and she was pretty upset. She's been rolling to her sides very easily as of late and when I walked back into the room (I had when to throw her diaper and old bag away) I saw her clearly roll from her side to her tummy. Wendy had this look of pure shock on her face. She looked up at me with those big blue eyes, screamed, and then banged her head on the floor. Luckily we were in her room and her room has thick carpet.

Mommy was in a panic though. There was a red spot on her forehead and she was acting like it hurt, which I'm sure banging your head on any surface doesn't feel good. I called Zed and he told me to relax that she was fine and no I didn't need to take her to the ER unless she was showing symptoms of a head injury. I called my mom too. She repeated the same thing to me and then she proceeded to tell me that Wendy is almost 8 months old and will probably be crawling/walking before I know it and when she starts that, she's going to get many more bumps and bruises. It's what babies do.  So after I calmed down and checked her out- I made sure her eyes were dilating the same size, that she didn't go to sleep for  at least an hour, and that she was still reaching for toys and not crying when I was holding her- I gave her some infants Tylenol for the headache and went on about my day.<

Turns out that this HUGE bump on the head that I was so scared about was nothing. It didn't leave a bruise, carpet burn or anything. Wendy is absolutely fine. It's ridiculous that I can handle my 3 day old baby having surgery better than my almost 8 month old bumping her head.

Some happy news for today, I have already picked out Wendy's birthday cake and invitations. I'm also starting to pick out decorations. I'm going to order them all soon and just put them away since I know Wendy is having surgery at the end of June/beginning of July and probably again before her first birthday. I would like to have everything ready in advance so when she does have her surgery, I can completely focus on her!

Sweet Wendy is wanting to be held so this mommy's got to go! I'll try to update again as soon as I can!

Monday, May 21, 2012

One Tired Little Momma!

My sweet little princess, Wendy Lee, did not sleep well last night. Therefore, mommy didn't sleep well. I'm pushing through though. Usually, I love snuggling with her, but last night, she was a demon-child, kicking, scratching, and biting (with her two brand new bottom teeth). I know all this bad behavior was stemming from her being tired, not feeling well, and not having any other way to express herself. So I did my best to hold on to her and sooth her. After a while, she ended up asleep, and I ended up sweating.

I realized recently that I haven't had as much time to post on my blog and interact with my March of Dimes website, Scentsy stuff, and CDO. It's been hectic since we've moved. This house is much bigger than my last and has a ton of wood furniture that has to be dusted several times a week. I'm not complaining though, because this place is absolutely beautiful, it just takes me a little longer to clean! Also, I am finishing up my Vet Assistant certification, because Zed said I need to. He said I shouldn't start something and not finish it. So not only am I working on my bachelor's in Early Childhood Education, I am also finishing the VA certificate. I'm only 10 tests away from my certificate though, so hopefully that won't take too much longer.

On top of all of that, I have decided to get my body back and I'm doing it the old fashioned way, hard work, plain and simple. I am doing Insanity. The day I had Wendy I weighed 155. I will admit I was 149 before I got pregnant. After I had Wendy, I lost down to 130. Again, I will admit my weight, which women rarely ever tell the truth about, is back up to 150. I am not okay with that. I am only 5 feet tall and carry weight terribly. I should be between 120-130 to look decent. 115 would be even better. I understand that I have had a baby and my hips may never look the same, but I am doing what I can to make them look as good as possible! I'm starting week 2 of Insanity and have lost 2 pounds already. Hopefully, I can stick with it and see some results.

Finally, I am working on getting a design and price up for the new Walking For Wendy shirts. Soon, I will be needing to know who wants one and what size. I am trying to get onesies for babies as well. I will let you all know ASAP!

One more thing, only 40 views to 16,000! That's amazing. Wendy has the best followers and supporters out there! Thank you all for keeping up with her, and I as well!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Life As We Know It

It's truly amazing how much you can love someone so small. My heart grows every time I look at Wendy. It's hard to believe something so perfect is a part of me, that she is mine. But she is.

I spend most of my nights and days tending to her every need and want. Seeing as she is a very special child, she has quite a few needs. My afternoons are spent preparing formula with lots of extra calories, changing her dressing around her g tube, and administering medicine. It's weird to think that other parents don't do the same thing. For us, this is normal.

After reading a book about raising special children, I realized not all parents handle it well and gracefully. I like to think I am one of those that handle it fabulously. As difficult as some days are, and believe me, some days are I-want-to-rip-every-strand-of-hair-out kind of days, I wouldn't change a moment of it. Every minute my baby spent in the hospital, every syringe I have washed, every colostomy I have changed has shaped me into the loving and caring mother I see myself as. Some people may pity my family. If you're one of those people, it's you I truly feel sorry for. Because if you feel one ounce of sadness for my beautiful family, you obviously can't see the joy, love, and happiness that our life is filled with. Prayers we will take. Sympathy, we can do without.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Nice And Long!

It's been a while since I have had a long, detailed blog.
I am planning on correcting that right now!
As I've said in a few of my recent short posts, it's difficult to blog on an iPhone. The internet isn't the fastest. Blogspot freezes. And I often get misspellings or weird autocorrects and sometimes they're so bad that my sentences don't even make sense!
I am now back on my big obnoxious iMac. Wendy is laying on a blanket on the floor. Ares is on the couch, eating a sock. And I am sitting beside Wendy typing away, while Gone With The Wind is playing in another window at the corner of my screen.
Wendy has been doing really well lately, as far as making progress. She's smiling and laughing so much more. Sometime she laughs at absolutely nothing, like right now she's rolling around giggling like there's no tomorrow. She's been rolling to her sides often and doing it well. She's even rolling to her left side now, which she wouldn't do before because of her g tube and colostomy being on that side. Wendy has been sleeping in her own crib, in her own room, for about a week or so now. She's been sleeping from about 7:00pm to usually 2:00-3:00am. Which at that time I come get her up for a diaper change and then I lay her in her vibrating boppy seat beside the couch in her room and she and I watch a movie or tv show on my computer until we both fall back asleep. Then at 7:00am we are up for the day. At that time, I'll put her on the floor to roll around and we'll work on her reaching for toys. Once she's wore out, she usually takes a nap.
It has taken a while, but we have finally settled into a routine.
As for her doctors, we have met her pediatrician and surgeon. Dr. Melissa Martin, in Athens, as I've mentioned before, is her new pediatrician. She was amazing, and absolutely adorable. We were waiting in the exam room and in walks a sweet, very tiny, lady, even shorter than myself, in a teal colored dress and wedges. She had short dark grey hair and very stylish glasses. I couldn't help but smile. And when she opened her mouth to talk, I was even more thrilled. She was so nice and completely focused on helping Wendy. She didn't point out Wendy's flaws. Needless to say, I was impressed and very happy with my choice, and Dr. Martin was appalled that other doctors didn't want to take Wendy because of her special needs.
Yesterday we met Dr. Mark Wulkan, Wendy's pediatric surgeon. As with most specialists, he didn't have a really big personality. But with a surgeon, I don't care about his personality. I care about his qualifications and his ability to fix my baby. He seemed knowledgable and acted like this was a fairly common surgery and told us Wendy should heal quickly. The only thing I did not like, was his office. I'm used to the doctor's office being attached to the hospital. Wendy will be having surgery probably June 28. The reason I say probably is because the lady that scheduled it said on one calendar it said Dr. Wulkan would be in that day, on another, it said he would be gone that day. So if not June 28, it will be July 5 or 12. She is going to talk to Dr. Wulkan and call me this week to let me know for certain. Wendy's surgery will be at the Children's Hospital at Egleston.
I would post more, because I feel like I have so much to catch up on, but Wendy is getting tired of entertaining herself, so mommy is needed!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Be Back Soon!

We were supposed to have Internet in our house today, however the guy from HughesNet did a terrible job with installation so we called, complained, and cancelled. We are going to go through Comcast now. So for now, short blog posts will be all I can manage from my iPhone. Wendy has an appointment with her surgeon Aon Wednesday. And Monday she sees a neurologist. I will definitely update after we get any news or schedule her surgeries. Just bare with me for now with the crappy posts because it's just a very hectic time right now- moving, getting settled, changing Wendy's doctors, etc. Until next time.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

7 Months Old

I haven't written much since moving back home. Simply because we don't have Internet yet and I hate posting from my iPhone.

Wendy turned 7 months old today so I had to suck it up and post. On May 3rd, 5 days before she turned 7 months, her first tooth broke through! It is right in the center on the bottom and it's super sharp. She's into biting now!

Also, today was her first appointment with her new pediatrician, Dr. Melissa Martin. She is fabulous. She was very thorough and extremely friendly. She made me feel like Wendy was a priority, not just another file, like so many other doctors. Little miss was weighed today and she weighed 10lbs 3oz. She has to go back for a weight check in 6 weeks because she only gained 4oz in 2 months.

Another big milestone? Wendy is sleeping without her heart monitor, for the very first time! Mommy is a nervous wreck. I actually plan on sleeping on the couch in her room for tonight since its the first night without it. Hopefully it all goes smoothly and I will be back in my bedroom soon!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Yes, My Life Is Just That Great

When it comes to havin a sick kid, yes, that sometimes sucks. I say sometimes because Wendy is an absolute joy, but her feeding pump, medications, and constant doctor visits are a pain.

The rest of my life is pretty spectacular at the moment. I have a roof over my head, a very big, beautiful roof. I have a husband who loves me and who is one of mOst amazing fathers I know. I have family and friends who are eagerly waiting to help me. And finally, I am thankful for my beautiful miracle who is almost 7 months old now.

Thursday, May 3, 2012


After being away from my husband and Wendy away from her daddy, we have been reunited. Zed and I have not been apart do this long since Wendy was born. It's been strange being apart (even though only for five days) and quite difficult. I am so used I having his help with our baby that it wore me out taking care of her alone. I had my mom, of course, but she doesn't know how to use all of Wendy's equipment or change her colostomy bags yet. So here is my little family, minus Ares and Peanut (who are still with my parents until we unpack), all sleeping in the master bedroom of our house. Wendy in her travel crib. Pandora on a blanket beside her. And Zed and I on the new king size bed we just got put together. Our tv is sitting on a box and we are watching a DVD on the Xbox because we don't have tv yet. You know, my life may not be exactly simple, but it's pretty damn amazing.

Wendy Lee, Home Sweet Home

This morning when I woke up and felt Wendy's gums, I realize her first tooth has finally broke through! She has gotten her first tooth 5 days before she turns 7 months old. I can't believe how fast my baby girl is growing up. It's a good thing she's still so tiny or I really would be heartbroken!

As long as Zed gets home today like he is supposed to, we will all be staying at our house together tonight. It's still not completely unpacked, but it's unpacked enough to stay in. I still need to go grocery shopping. Maybe I will get that done today. But I think it's safe to say that Wendy will be home sweet home.

Also, I just wanted to say, this blog has had almost 15,000 views! That is so amazing!