2011; Coming To A Close

This year has been eventful, to say the least. Zed returned from Afghanistan and only a month later we found out I was pregnant. We have had our ups and downs, dealing with a difficult pregnancy, PTSD, and now a sick child. This has probably been one of the hardest years of my life, even harder than the year Zed was deployed. I have spent nights crying. I've had days where I couldn't quit smiling. And there have been days when I just wanted things to be easier.

But now that I look back, I wouldn't trade a moment of this year for anything, because through all the trials and hardships I've faced, I've been blessed with a lifetime of happiness. Her name is Wendy Lee.

I sit here smiling as I type as I watch her laying in her Boppy staring at the lights on her feeding pump. I never knew how much I could love a child. I had no way of knowing just how much she would mean to me when I got pregnant. I wanted a baby. I had wanted a baby since Zed and I got married. But God knew that he was going to give us a special child and He knew that I was going to need Zed home to help.

Today I was getting Wendy dressed in her cute 2012 "My First New Year" onesie and I realized how hard it was going to be to run her feeding tube through the outfit. If I ran it out the bottom, it pulled on her Mic Key Button. If I ran it out the top, it was rubbing her neck. So I decided to be creative and I just cut a hole in the side of the onesie. It actually worked really well. The hole is small enough to not be noticeable, but I can fit the feeding tube through there without it pulling on her or being in the way. I've decided I'm going to do this to all her outfits that don't button up the front. We won't be able to use the clothes with another child or pass them down since they'll have holes, but I would rather her be comfortable. And who knows, maybe when she grows out of them, I'll take them to the NICU and give them to other parents who have a child with a G tube. One thing is for sure though, I have decided that Wendy should not have to be any different than a normal newborn. I am not going to let her miss out on anything, including being dressed in completely ridiculous (but totally cute) outfits!