Prepared? I Don't Think So.

When you plan on becoming pregnant, you don't plan on having a child with a disability. You may plan on the amount of money it will take to buy diapers, formula, and clothes, but you never imagine having to take care of a sick baby. In Wendy's case, for 71 days in the NICU, it cost $543,372.96. Yes, that's over half a million dollars. And that does not include the 5 weeks I spent in the hospital, Wendy's 2 surgeries, or her $4,000 transport- which was less than 5 miles- from Centennial to Vanderbilt. Luckily, TriCare is paying. Many things about the military are terrible, but the insurance is great. My point is, no matter how much you prepare yourself to become a parent, nothing can prepare you physically, finically, or emotionally for an unhealthy child. If more people thought about this possibility, I bet a lot less people would have children. Wendy is my everything. She has been since the day I found out I was pregnant. But that doesn't make this any less hard or stressful. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade Wendy for anything in this world, not even a healthy child, but it's still not easy.

Today when I fed Wendy, her formula was pouring out from around her Mic Key button. After calling pediatric surgery at Vanderbilt, they decided her balloon was probably busted and she needed a new button. We spent the majority of our day in Nashville. She now has a Mini button, instead of a Mic Key. It's smaller and a little flatter. I just hope this one doesn't leak. I think they ripped her stitch out when they changed her button, because she was bleeding some when we bathed her. If she is having any problems still on Friday, I will take her by the surgery department and let the nurse look at her. We have to go to Vanderbilt for her urology appointment anyway.

All in all, today has been hectic. But I can promise you this, at the end of the day, when I rock Wendy to sleep, there is no place I'd rather be. Even though there are bad days, it only takes one look at Wendy for every stress and every sadness to go away. She is perfect to me. And I may not have been prepared, but I have been blessed.