Thursday, January 12, 2012

I Wish I Was Superwoman

I'm only 22 and in the past two years I have been through more than many people go through in a lifetime. My marriage has survived a deployment, PTSD, a really rough pregnancy, and a baby with disabilities. Needless to say, I had to grow up quickly, for my family. Most 22 year olds are enjoying their senior year of college, still planning on what they want to do with their life. I stay home and play nurse with Wendy. I'm not complaining because I love my little girl more than life itself and I would do anything it takes to care for her, but on days like today, it proves to be hard.

Wendy's button is leaking. Tomorrow, after we see urology, we'll be going back to pediatric surgery to have another one put in. Her skin around the button is wearing down from the button being wet constantly. When she's not asleep, all she does is scream. I know it hurts. I'm at the point where I just want to cry too because I can't fix it and I can't make her feel better. When I try to hold her, it seems to make it worse. Which I'm sure when she's not laying flat her button is rubbing against the already irritated skin and causing her pain. I just want to make it better. On days like today, I wish I was Superwoman, and had special powers, but I'm not, I'm only human. I'm only a mom.

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