Please forgive any misspellings or weird auto corrections, I'm on my cell phone. I wasn't sure I even wanted to tell anyone this yet, I'm still not sure I want to. But maybe if I write it down and get it off my chest I'll feel better. Maybe if I know people are reading this and praying for Wendy I'll feel better. Maybe posting this won't make me feel any different at all. Either way, it couldn't hurt.
As of this morning Wendy was doing great. She came offend ventilator friday. They took her off oxygen yesterday. And when the doctors rounded today they decided they were ready to try giving her a little breastmilk. Unfortunately that's where things went wrong.
Zed and I had come home because he has to go into work every monday. We had been here maybe an hour when the hospital called. They tried to feed Wendy and when they did, the milk got backed up and started leaking around her G tube. Then her respiratory and oxygen rate dropped. Now she's back on oxygen and doing okay. About an hour later, they called again. She has an infection. Not sure if it's from her picc line, surgery, or if she just caught something. She's now on several antibiotics. We should know more about the infection in 72 hours. Also, a surgeon (not her surgeon) looked at her G tube and said it didn't look healed and that's why it was leaking. But he couldn't give a definite answer because he didn't do the procedure. Wendy's surgeon will be by in the morning. Depending on what kind of infection she has they may give her an NG tube (on through her nose) again to feed her until her G tube is healed/fixed.
I just feel like its one setback after another. Can this poor baby not get a break? It sucks enough that I have been going constantly since I gave birth (and have been sick twice) but to see Wendy suffer hurts me so much more! I was hoping to stay home for 2-3 days and let Zed go stay with Wendy, but now knowing she's sick, I can't not be there for my baby. And I feel damn guilty because I want/need a break. I know I need to take care of myself too but hopefully she will start to improve soon and I can take a few days before she comes home to catch up on some rest.
And on top of everything, my milk production is going down again. Maybe it's because I was sick last week and not as hydrated but whatever the cause I'm fighting to get it back up.
On another sad note, it doesn't look like we will be visiting family for Christmas. I don't think we are going to want to take Wendy on a 7 hour trip once she gets out of the hospital... If she's even home by Christmas. Wherever we are (at home or in the hospital) anyone who wants to see us can come to us.