Small Town Life

A lot of people complain about living in a small town. I used to be one of those people. But now, I can't wait to take sweet little Wendy back to Elberton. Yes, everyone always knows your business, but when you really need something, the people will get behind you and do what they can to help. Having a sick baby has proved that. I've had so many people give me well wishes and ask me what I need, even though we are 400 miles away in Nashville right now. We even had someone anonymously send us cash to help with food since we are staying in a hotel right now; the card was simply signed friends in Christ. I'm really glad we are stationed at Fort Campbell right now because Wendy is getting great care at Vanderbilt, but I definitely miss my little hometown. :)

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

The worst part about having a preemie with a chromosome abnormality is that things never seem stable. Wendy was able to maintain her body temp for a few days then her heat lamp had to be turned back on, and now today it's off again. Yesterday they said I couldn't try to breast or bottle feed and now today I can. Yesterday Wendy had a bit of a rough day, spitting up constantly, however I think it's either the vitamins they started her on or the Amoxicillin (because I'm allergic to that too) that's causing her tummy to be upset. Speech said yesterday they think she may have severe reflux but today she took 8mL for the speech therapist fine. The doctor still ordered a suck/swallow test for next week where they'll look and see if/how she is swallowing in an xray. Another problem is she's not growing as much as they'd like. I'm hoping things will even out soon so she will be closer to coming home. For now it's still just one day at a time.

Nursing

Today was my first attempt at actually breastfeeding Wendy. I've been pumping since the day she was born, but I would like to actually be able to nurse her. We brought in the lactation consultant and she showed me how to properly hold Wendy and how to position my nipple. Wendy never fully opened her mouth or latched on but she would suck on her lips some when she tasted my milk. They said that was a good sign. It was nice just being skin to skin with her and bonding some. We are going to start doing Kangaroo care since she has her picc line out now.

She is trying to maintain her own body temp now but she's been running a little low so they may have to turn the heat back on. Also because of the problems with her intestines she had to have surgery and get a Colostomy bag, not sure if I have mentioned that before. Well they are having problems finding an adhesive that will stick to her skin. Her bag has come off or leaked 4 times in 2 days, and it breaks my heart seeing them peel the adhesive off her akin while she screams and cries. I hope they can figure something out soon.

Doctors are still saying her discharge date will be around her due date and that if she can't learn to bottle or breast feed by then they'll send her home with a feeding tube. Gah, November 20 cannot get here fast enough!

So In Love

Zed and I just got back to the hotel (we are still trying to get in the Ronald McDonald or Hospitality House). When we got to the hospital earlier Zed got Wendy and held her for a while. She was so content laying in her daddy's arms. After a while I told him I wanted to hold her. He passed her off and went for a walk, leaving Wendy and me to have some mommy/daughter time. I read her two of the Little Golden Books, Baby Dear and Color Kittens (the ones that have been around forever). Once Zed got back we tucked Wendy back into her soft squishy bed and left. I could have stayed and stared at her for hours. I love all her wild curly hair, her crazy long eyelashes and the way she pouts her lips. I adore her big dark eyes and her long fingers and toes. I especially love the fact that she is a part of me and always will be my little girl. It's safe to say I'm so in love!

It's Been a While

I know it's been a while since I have posted anything. I honestly feel like all I do now is eat, sleep, pump, and visit Wendy. Wendy is tolerating my breast milk really well. They up it by 2cc everyday. She's still breathing on her own however, she had to have a feeding tube because she doesn't have the reflex to take a bottle. We are hoping she can learn that soon. She's had 2 sessions of phototherapy because she's a bit jaundiced, which is normal for preemies. She is down from 3lbs 15oz to 3lbs 10oz, which is again expected. Other than that, things are about the same. They said she would probably be home around Thanksgiving- which is close to her due date. We are taking it day by day and hopes she will get better soon. We are ready to have our tiny angel home!

One Week Old Today!

At 1501 Wendy will be a week old! Oh how fast she is growing up! I will be glad to get her home so I don't feel like I am missing out on her growing up. On the bright side, today is the first day we have really gotten good news. For her to be able to come home she has to be able to eat, maintain body temperature, and breath on her own. She has one down, two to go! They are going to try to feed her Pedialite today and if she does okay with that they will give her breast milk! That's so exciting to me! We are still not sure if she will be able to take a bottle or if she'll need a feeding tube, but we are taking it one day at a time and hoping for the best. They will check her other problems again before she goes home, but they shouldn't prolong her stay. Unfortunately we called the Ronal McDonald house and they are still completely full and have a very long waiting list. But as long as that's the only bad news we get, I'll take it!

Wendy's Progress

After being tested and evaluated they found a few problems with my sweet baby girl. There is a vein and a flap in her heart that should be closed but aren't. While they are in utero these two places have to be open and since she is a preemie and her gestational age is only 34 weeks we are hopeful they will close on their own. One of her kidneys is swollen. And they found a cyst in one part of her brain and her choroid plexus is swollen- which could be from where she had cysts that healed there before. They thought the main vein in her tummy that goes to heart was interrupted, but after a second look that found that it just flows a different way than normal, however it is still pumping blood to the correct places. Her eyes, her spine, and her limbs all look fine. She had her first surgery this morning to begin the process of fixing her intestines. It will be a 3 step surgery. Zed and I were called at 0630 and told they were taking her back. We went and saw her then Zed went back to the hotel while my mom and I waited for the surgery to be over. She did wonderfully and after an hour she was back in her room in the nicu and we were able to see her. She was still on a ventilator and paralyzed but they said they weren't rushing her off the anesthesia because she was so small. We decided to leave Wendy alone to rest and wake up and we will see her again in the morning. Hopefully she will be awake and breathing on her own sometime tomorrow. While we weren't doing anything today Momma, Grammy, Aunt Sherry and myself went to clean mine and Zed's house. That way when I go home its not messy and it'll smell nice. Zed spent the day with his daddy. I also bought Wendy a little pumpkin that lights up to go in her nicu room. That little girl is so loved its amazing. And its true what my Momma always told me, you never know love until you have a baby of your own. :)

The World Welcomes Wendy

At 3:01pm on October 8, 2011 Wendy made her way into the world. After having contractions for 40 hours the doctor finally allowed the nurse to check my cervix. I was dilated 5cm and was immediately taken to labor & delivery. Within 30 minutes I had my epidural and was dilated 7-8cm. Not longer after that I was fully dilated and ready to start pushing. I pushed through one contraction with the nurse and then they brought the doctor in. I pushed once with her as well and Wendy was here. They immediately noted she had a flat nose so they put a breathing tube in. Luckily she's breathing on her own and hasn't needed help. During evaluation they noted a few physical anomalies that need to be addressed. She was transferred to Vanderbilt's Children Hospital for evaluation today and.surgery as soon as tomorrow. Her daddy and I have decided not to discuss what surgery will be performed unless its with immediate family. Its personal and it was a decision we made with Wendy's best interest at heart. Our baby girl is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and I may be biased, but I don't think there is another baby that holds a candle to her beauty. I absolutely adore her sweet chubby cheeks and head full of black hair. They even had a bow in her long hair in the nicu. We are hoping she just needs this one surgery and that she will be able to come home soon with us. Eveunn though I just gave birth less than 18 hours ago, I'm just waiting on the doctor to come by and discharge me. I hate not being able to see/hold my little girl whenever I want but it wont be long until we are reunited again.

Baby Maybe?

I have been having contractions every 5 minutes for the past 42 hours. Yes forty-two! And guess what? That's with taking Terbutaline shots and being on a magnesium drip. I have finally started refusing the Terbutaline shots because the side effects are so awful and they only slow my contractions to every 20 minutes apart and that only lasts for about an hour or two and then they pick back up. So far I'm not sure if/how much I'm dilating. My nurse wants to check me but has to get permission from the doctor first. I know my cervix went from being 24mm and closed to 1cm dilated with 12hours of contractions, so I'm sure I've dilated more in the past 30 hours. Personally I think Wendy is ready to be here- my little impatient baby. I can see her trying to claw her way out- which is probably why I'm bleeding lol. All I know is, this pain is horrible and I went 24 hours with no pain medication and yesterday I only took it once. Today I've already taken some, but hopefully I can go 8-10 hours without needing anymore. I don't want poor Wendy going through withdrawals because she's going to have enough problems as it is. I guarantee you that if my sweet baby is born addicted to pain pills I'm going to have some not very nice things to say to this ignorant doctor for making me be in labor for so long. I understand at 34 weeks they don't want to encourage it, but its not like I'm asking for Pitocon. I'm asking for them to let my body do what it wants to do naturally. I read somewhere that your body is smarter than doctors and knows when to go into labor so you shouldn't plan to induce or anything- well I think my body and y are trying to tell the doctor something. Crossing my fingers for good news. :)

Oh and I've changed my mind about breast feeding. I was not going to do it, at all. But since Wendy is coming so early I'm going to try to breast feed as long as I'm producing colostrum then we'll switch her to formula. Breast feeding reduces the risk of her getting an infection in the NICU by 86%. So if I weren't going to have a preemie, I would stick by my decision to formula feed, but having a special baby means making special sacrifices.

First Night Alone

Tonight is my very first night alone in the hospital. I sent Zed home to try to get some rest in a comfortable bed. I realized he needed to go home yesterday when he layed in my bed and said "omg, your bed is so comfortable". I knew if he thought a hospital bed was comfy, he deserved a night in our bed at home. I just got put on the monitor and was given some pain meds. I called my nurse and told her my back was hurting pretty badly thinking I'd get Tylenol but they brought me Percocet instead. At this point, I would have taken anything. I'm pretty positive Wendy is on my spine since I lost so much fluid. And the pain only gets worse when I have a contraction. Luckily I'm not contracting often. They did an ultrasound today and Wendy weighs 3lbs 12oz. She wasn't "practicing breathing" thought so they're going to do a BPP again tomorrow. The doctor said its nothing to be concerned about because she looks great on the monitor. Also, the doctor said we could talk to the other doctor on Monday about what day we will deliver since I'm getting close to 35 weeks. I'm ready to deliver anytime after Friday- I only need to wait until Friday because that's when the kit to bank her cord blood and tissue will be here. Zed decided he wanted to bank it because a lot of cases of chromosome translocation the kids end up with Leukemia. So he called ViaCord yesterday and we are getting it done. Anyway, I'm watching True Blood on HBO Go (there is nothing on tv and the hospital has very few good channels, mostly sports and news) so I'm going to relax and try to get some rest. I'll post more when something changes

Everything Is Staying The Same... For Now

Even though I'm bleeding we are not doing anything differently. The doctor was worried I was getting an infection because my crp levels were a bit elevated yesterday but they were back down today. Last night I started having contractions pretty frequently, every 6-8 minutes, but they eventually subsided. I'm still cramping today and my tummy is tender. I guess we'll see what the doctor says. Probably, the same- we're just waiting to see if Wendy decides to make an appearance or if she is going to be patient and wait until we take her.

Quick Update Before I Go Back To Sleep

I just finished breakfast and I'm going to try to get a little more sleep, but I wanted to update everyone really quickly. Yesterday morning I started bleeding slightly. Nothing major but enough to alarm Zed and I both. The nurses and doctors suspect my placenta could be detaching since the top of my tummy is sore and I'm bleeding. Today I will have my normal doctor back today so hopefully she'll give me some insight on what we are/will do if my placenta is ruptured.

Yesterday I turned 33 weeks!

Ready For My Next Doctor

After being taken off the Procardia, my chest quick hurting and my pulse dropped back to normal (100-110). Well normal for me. Also my blood pressure is back to being a little higher- which is good because it was 90/40. They did a BPP on the baby today and she looks good. I still have 8.95cm of fluid- from 13cm on the 29th. I'm still steadily leaking but as long as Wendy doesn't start showing signs of stress they wont take her. However, if her fluid level gets way too low, her growth will be restricted and there wont be any need to delay delivery. I'm hoping the other doctors will deliver if my AFI gets super low. Another reason I don't like the one doctor I'm seeing now (she's one out of four at MFG) is because she was going to put me on a shot of insulin at night that I don't need. She came in saying my blood sugar was over 120 this morning and it wasn't. It was 94. My nurse tried to explain to her that she was looking at the wrong line and she didn't listen. Finally when she told me I was going on a shot of insulin I told her my blood glucose had been steady for the past 2 weeks and I wanted to know why they were giving me more medicine. She said she'd look at my charts again and sure enough, my nurse and I were right. I don't need the extra insulin- my Glyburide is working just fine. And the doctor put me back on four sticks a day- but maybe since she made a mistake and misread my results I can stay at two. The doctor said for now I was fine staying off the Procardia and we would try to manage with that I magnesium as long as I didn't start having contractions... if I start having more contractions I'm not sure what they'll do. But I refuse to go back on the Procardia. Can a patient refuse to take a medication? I'll have to ask my nurse haha. Anyway, only two more days with this specific doctor then they rotate again. Thank God!