Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Sound Of My Voice

Today I sat and read to Wendy for a while. We are reading Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief. When she was first born we read the little kid's picture books. But then I realized she doesn't understand what I'm reading so I might as well read something I could sort of enjoy too. I didn't want to read anything trashy to her (like the Sookie Stackhouse Novels, that I love!) so I picked a good teenage book. I still haven't watched the movie. I'm waiting until I finish reading Wendy the book, then I will watch it. After I finish reading her that book, I will read her the second one because they are coming out with a second movie.

As for an update on Wendy's progress; she's doing okay. They gave her 6mL of Pedialite a few times yesterday. They are switching that to breast milk today. However, 6mL is not enough to tell if her G tube is going to leak or not. They're going to keep increasing her feeds and hopefully her G tube won't leak. And eventually when she can come off the TPN and lipids they will take her picc line out and we can go back to 7 South which will be a transition to come home. We will learn how to use all of her equipment and we will take an infant CPR class. Then hopefully within a week after going to 7 South she can come home.

A lot of people tell me to rest while I can because I will be super busy once Wendy comes home. But do you know how hard it is to rest while you're worrying? It's pretty damn difficult. It just bugs me when people act like it's harder to take care of a baby than it is to sit with a baby in the NICU for weeks and weeks. I'm not trying to complain. I'm also not saying I'm a better mother, or that my life is harder. In all honestly, my life is pretty great (other than Wendy being sick). I have a husband that loves me and provides for me, who is also one amazing daddy! I have a very supportive family and friend base. And I have a beautiful daughter that is more perfect than any baby in this entire world (at least in my eyes; I know, I know, I'm biased!!) . I just don't like when people pretend to understand what I'm going through. Unless you've been through this yourself, YOU HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA! That's why I try to never judge someone unless I've been there. A lot of people go through things that I can't imagine, such as losing a close family member, being a single parent, etc. Those are hardships I haven't had to face and so I commend anyone that does, but like I said, unless you have had a preemie with a chromosome anomaly, you have no idea the difficulties I face on a day-to-day basis, so unless it's words of encouragement, you can keep your opinions to yourself :)

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