I have a special needs child. I am not ashamed to admit that Wendy is different.
In the book I am reading, My Baby Rides The Short Bus (which is an amazing book, for the most part, written by parents of special children who tell their personal stories), there is a mother who tells about her autistic son. She is in complete denial. She says she contradicts the therapists and doesn't like to have him evaluated. But honestly, no parent wants to hear their child is "not normal" or not developing the way they should be. Trust me, my heart broke when i recieved a copy of Wendy's evaluation. But if you have a special child, then you need to recognize it, learn to understand and accept, move on and get your child the help they need. Having a special child is nothing to be ashamed of. I am damn proud of my beautiful baby girl and every time she accomplishes something new my heart bursts with pride. Wendy was 5 months old before she ever smiled, but when I saw that smile for the first time, I melted.
Today was not the easiest day. Wendy is teething (I can actually feel a tooth on the bottom). Her bag came off today. Her button was leaking and the dressing around it had this disgusting brown, bloody looking stuff on it. And she fought sleep like crazy. For a moment, while I was cutting her colostomy bags, I thought, what would it be like to have a normal child. As soon as I finished with her bags and went and sat next to her, I immediately felt guilty. One look in her beautiful big blue eyes and I knew that she is the perfect baby for me! I couldn't imagine life without colostomy bags, feeding tubes, syringes, and medication. It may not be easy. And it may not be what I imagined when I found out I was pregnant. But I wouldn't have it any other way.