Thursday, April 26, 2012

What Parenting A Special Needs Child Is Really Like

Parenting a disabled child like wearing 6 inch stilettos for the first time. As a first time parent you think you are going to get to learn to walk in kitten heels first. But when you find out your child has a disability, those kitten heels go out the window and you are stuck in shoes with a very high narrow heel. On the outside you look great. One the inside, your feet are aching and you're stressed out because you are certain that when you move you are going to bust your butt.

Do you know that most pediatricians don't want to see a child with a chromosome abnormality? I didn't, until I tried to find a new doctor for Wendy today. Every place I called either didn't accept Tricare or didn't feel comfortable taking on a special needs child. Honestly, who her pediatrician is isn't all that important. For all of her medical problems Wendy will see specialists. So I just need a pediatrician to give Wendy her shots and send referrals. I ended up getting an appointment with Dr. Melissa Martin. I haven't heard much about her, so I don't know if I am going to love or hate her, but then again, other people's opinions don't matter so much because they could have had a very different experience with the same doctor. We go May 8 for Winnie's 6 month shots and at that appointment I will decide if I like the doctor and if I don't, I will go through Tricare and find another one.  Hopefully Dr. Martin will be a nice fit for us though.

I am reading a book called My Baby Rides The Short Bus. It is a book written by parents of special needs children. They talk about the ups and downs of having a child that is "different". They are honest about what you go through. And the book helps me realize that I am not alone and I am not the only mother that has felt alone.  It talks about issues like how we feel every time someone says "special kids get special parents" or "you're so strong for everything you have been through". I am nothing special and I am no stronger than any other mother. When it's your child, you do what you have to. And if it were reversed, and you were walking in my stilettos, you would suck it up and do the same things I do. You would deal with it.

So if you ever want to understand what I go through on a daily basis, you should read that book. You will laugh and cry and get the chance to walk in my shoes.

1 comment:

  1. If there was a "like" button, I would want a "love" button, but since there ain't, I gotta say that is beautifully written.
    I am going to Google the book. Is like to read it.
    The reference to stilettos is dead on, even if your child does not have a chromosome abnormally. My first child was a breeze. I thought, "ha, I can handle a dozen kids"... How wrong I was. My second son was born autistic and bipolar. That's not a good combination. I had to take the fuzzy kitty slippers off and wear the stilettoes. He is now 20. I am still wearing the stilettoes. I am raising his 2 yr old daughter whom is smart as a whip (don't understand where that saying came from, every whip I have had has no knowledge what so ever)...
    The worst part of wearing stilettoes is you even have to wear them when you sleep.
    Please don't get me wrong, I am not comparing our babies, just feel the stiletto analogy was dead-on for raising special needs children.